( How to build confidence in a sensitive child | signs of low self-esteem in 5 year old | signs of low self-esteem in 7 year old | How to explain confidence to a child | signs of a confident child )
Hello parents:) This blog post is parents special and I personally feel that this specific topic needs some attention.
Not because everyone is writing, it's because it's a matter of talk.
According to an article from the CDC ( Centres for Disease Control and Prevention ) from 2016-2019 there were 9.4% of children aged 3-17 years (approximately 5.8 million) who had diagnosed anxiety.
I mean seriously and reading those stats gives me a solid reason to speak on this topic.
Self esteem is something that can help children overcome this state of anxiety and depression and not just that if you will do parenting in a right manner from the initial days then there will be no occurrence of depression and anxiety in children.
In today's article we will discuss the importance of self esteem and how it impacts children's behaviour and what are the major steps that you can take to boost your children's self esteem.
So grab your favourite place, have a cup of coffee and let's know dive in today's article titled the best ways to boost your child self esteem.
Definition of self-esteem and its components
Self esteem can be defined as a person’s estimation of their own abilities, qualities, and personal worth.
Self esteem is a fundamental human need. It is a complex concept that varies from person to person.
When we say self esteem in children then it differs from adults like self respect, self belief all these things are applicable for adults but in case of children's self esteem is all about enjoyment.
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It's all about the love and care that parents give to their children. It's about the attention that children want from their parents.
Most important the toys they get from their parents and do they have better toys then their friends?
That's all about children and their self esteem.
How self-esteem influences a child's behaviour and emotions
When we talk about self esteem in children then obviously in children it's about their perception and how they form their opinions.
Are they positive in life or not ? When a child has healthy self-esteem, they generally have a positive view of themselves, feel capable of handling life's challenges, and are more likely to engage in positive behaviours.
On the other hand, children with low self-esteem may struggle with self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and may avoid taking on new challenges.
So having a high or low self esteem can actually bring a big difference in the behaviour of childrens.
Let's know discuss some signs of low self esteem in childrens
Identifying signs of low self-esteem in children
Here are some signs that children with low self esteem mostly tends to follow:
1. Being frustrated throughout their whole day.
2. Irritated, not talking properly.
3. Not eating much.
4. Consistently say bad things about themselves like " I am useless", "I can't do it", "I am a failure".
5. Separating themselves from social life.
All these are the reasons for low self esteem in children and remember that it's hard to understand children's mentality since they tend to change their minds in seconds but parents need to give their full support and they need to make efforts from their side to boost children's self esteem.
D. The impact of low self-esteem on a child's overall well-being
When a child has low self esteem then obviously it can be observed in his behaviour and here's how low self esteem impacts childrens.
1. Low academic results: When your child has low self esteem then sometimes it can be observed in your academic results. If he is continuously performing poorly in exams then there is a need to boost his confidence and not put pressure on him.
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2. Negative self talk : The second impact of low self esteem is children start framing negative thoughts about themselves, their opinions and perception about themselves changes.
They start considering themselves useless and failure and it is mostly observed when parents put a lot of pressure on them or they don't pay attention to their children.
3. Avoiding themselves from social situations: See there can be two aspects either your child is introverted or he has low self-esteem. Since we are talking about children aged between 3-17 then it is important that we should keep that introvert tag aside.
Even though I am an introvert , I feel that every introvert must have the capability to speak in public and deal with social situations. I know I hate doing that but still do to make my communication skills better.
Ok so back to the point if your child is not interested in people, he or she doesn't want to talk , if your child doesn't want to meet different people then you need to start taking his / her care.
So those were few impacts of low self esteem on childrens.
Building a Strong Foundation: Early Childhood
A. Promoting self-esteem in toddlers
1. Creating a nurturing and supportive environment
When it comes to boosting self esteem of childrens then the first thing that can be done is creating a positive environment, an environment that is cheerful and happy.
Parents are instructed to create an environment where children can play and enjoy happily, parents should not talk about their personal matters in front of their children's, they should not fight in front of their children's and they should avoid everything that can impact children's minds.
It is also important that parents don't make their children watch movies or garbage songs during the first 5-6 years.
During this phase parents should try to give them basic knowledge and help them in cultivating a positive mindset.
Don't give your children phones. This will cause addiction.
2. Encouraging exploration and independence
Parents should not put any pressure on their children specially when they are between the age of 5-10 years, allow them what they want to do but remember if they are doing something wrong then you are supposed to make them correct.
Encourage them, if they are not performing well in academics then don't put pressure on your children instead encourage them to work hard again and make them understand that it's okay if you score less marks, you must try again.
Don't put any limitations on them, with increase in age teach them valuable life lessons.
3. Engaging in age-appropriate activities
There are different activities that you can do with your children like if your child is 3-4 years old then you can narrate moral stories, if he is 5-8 years old then you can play board games with him and as he grows you can play cricket with him.
The idea is never let your child stay alone, it's your duty to give him attention, make them happy.
4. Encouraging social interactions and friendships
As a parent you can encourage your children to boost their social interaction and friendship, explain to them the importance of friendship and allow them to make new friends.
Encourage them to talk, what they are feeling, how was their day and so on.
4. Acknowledging and celebrating achievements
Lastly, in order to boost your children's confidence you can acknowledge their small achievements, for example if your child made a drawing then you can encourage him by giving him a candy.
If he gets good marks, or bad marks then also you can encourage your child to work on yourself and you can also prepare their favourite dish for them.
The goal is to celebrate their achievements and try to boost their confidence.
Supporting School-Age Children: Tweens and Teens
A. Understanding the challenges of self-esteem in tweens (9-12 years)
When a child grows and he reaches the age of 9-12 years then several things come to mind, so let's discuss them.
1. Addressing body image concerns
Children of this age actually compare themselves with others, in terms of their looks and how they tend to appear.
Therefore it's parents responsibility to make your children understand that everyone is different and unique.
2. Fostering a growth mindset and resilience
When a child grows then it's parents duty to correct them when they are wrong and it's parents duty to give them a positive mindset.
Make your children focus on solutions instead of problems, allow them to work hard, teach them about goal setting and what they want to become in their life.
If your child can't face life challenges then it's your failure because you have not given good parenting. Therefore it's your responsibility to take care of your child and give them the right advice.
Build growth mindset, here's a complete guide to become successful person in life. Growth mindset is the key to make yourself better. Check now how you can have growth mindset in your life.
B. Boosting self-esteem in teenagers (13-18 years)
1. Navigating peer pressure and social media influence
When it comes to teenagers then parents don't interfere much in their matters and even the teenagers don't try to share their feelings with their parents.
The reason? Because we teenagers know that our parents will not understand, they can't fit themselves in our shoes and that's why they don't tend to share their feelings with you.
If your child feels awkward to share his feelings with parents then it's your fault not his. As a teenager, I am alone, having that mental pressure in my head and imagine if I have feelings for someone, let's say I love someone and when I will share this with my parents then I don't know what they will do with me.
One of the common problems that all teenagers has to face is temptations. Here's a complete guide with which you can get a detailed analysis on temptations and how it affects teens behaviour.
That's the problem. So it's my humble request to all parents that when your child becomes a teenager then you have to act like a friend.
Till 15 you have given everything to him, love, care, life lessons, good values, knowledge of society but you can't force him otherwise till the age of 18 he will get frustrated.
So act like a friend and try to understand what he or she wants, don't just put your decisions on your child.
2. Cultivating a sense of identity and purpose
When your child becomes a teenager then it's your responsibility to free him, not from the house but give him his own identity to make him understand the concept of life.
Make him understand whom you have to trust and whom you have to love. Give him the knowledge of purpose and ask him what he wants to do in his life.
Purpose plays an important role in our life without purpose our life is like animals who are cluelesly wasting their time. Therefore it's essential that we should set a purpose to make our life meaningful.
Explain to him the importance of career and give him proper directions.
3. Providing opportunities for skill development and leadership
As a teenager most of childrens are classified as introvert and extrovert and both these personalities just pile apart from each other.
Introverts don't socialise themselves but extroverts socialise with everyone and in my school life, sometimes introverts become good speakers while extroverts who tend to speak more are less confident in public speaking.
So it's parents duty to understand your child's weakness and allow them to make themselves better.
For example if your child is not good at public speaking then you can suggest that he take part in various debates and public speaking courses.
If your child loves drawing then you can gift colours, drawing books or canvas on his birthday. If he loves singing then you can give him a mic.
Your duty is to provide him opportunities so that he can hone his skills and can make himself better.
Overcoming Obstacles to Self-Esteem
A. Building Self-Esteem in an Autistic Child
1. Understanding the Unique Challenges and Strengths of Autistic Children:
Recognize that autistic children may face distinct challenges in social interactions, communication, and sensory processing.
Take the time to understand their specific needs and strengths, and avoid comparing them to neurotypical children. Emphasise and celebrate their unique abilities and interests.
2. Using Visual Aids and Clear Communication:
Visual aids and clear, concise communication can greatly benefit autistic children in understanding expectations and expressing themselves.
Utilise visual schedules, social stories, and other visual supports to help them navigate daily routines and social situations. Use simple and direct language to avoid confusion.
3. Emphasised Individual Accomplishments and Progress:
Celebrate and acknowledge an autistic child's individual accomplishments and progress, regardless of how small they may seem.
Don't just criticise your child instead criticise him in a positive manner. Try to teach him a good lesson from mistakes and how he can avoid that mistake again.
Provide constructive feedback and positive reinforcement to boost their confidence and motivate them to continue trying new tasks and activities.
B. Building Self-Esteem After Childhood Trauma
1. Recognizing the Signs of Trauma and Its Impact on Self-Esteem:
Be attentive to behavioural and emotional changes in a child who has experienced trauma. Signs may include withdrawal, anxiety, difficulty trusting others, or low self-esteem. Recognizing and acknowledging their feelings and experiences is the first step towards healing.
2. Seeking Professional Support and Therapy:
When a child has experienced childhood trauma, professional support and therapy can play a crucial role in their healing process.
Sometimes children goes through a trauma there can be several reasons like bad family environment, toxicity and negativity, consistent fights between parents or lack of love and emotional support.
These types of traumas can badly affect the child's mentality. So it is recommended to visit Licensed therapists, counsellors, or psychologists with expertise in trauma who can provide appropriate interventions and strategies tailored to the child's needs.
3. Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment for Healing:
Provide a safe and nurturing environment for the child to process their emotions and experiences. Offer consistent emotional support and reassurance, allowing them to share their feelings at their own pace.
Don't pressurise them, be gentle, show your support.
Encourage open communication and create opportunities for expression through art, play, or writing.
Strategies for Parents and Caregivers
A. Modeling Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion:
2. Embrace Mistakes: Show that making mistakes is a normal part of learning and growing. Demonstrate how you handle setbacks and use them as opportunities to learn and improve.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and demonstrate self-compassion when facing challenges or difficult situations. Show your child that it's okay to be gentle with themselves.
Self care is all about self compassion, self talk and self love, read out our complete guide on self care and how you can acquire it in your daily routine.
B. Effective Communication and Active Listening:
1. Be Present: When your child wants to talk, give them your full attention. Show genuine interest in what they have to say without interrupting or judging.
2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your child's emotions, even if you don't fully understand them. Let them know their feelings are important and accepted.
3. Encourage Open Communication: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or punishment.
Complete guide on communication to get you started, Read now!
C. Encouraging a Growth Mindset and Effort Over Perfection
1. Praise Effort and Progress: Celebrate the effort of your child regardless of the outcome. Encourage them to keep trying and learning from their experiences.
2. Highlight Growth and Learning: Shift the focus from being perfect to continuously improving and learning. Teach your child that growth comes from facing challenges and stepping out of their comfort zone.
3. Avoid Labels: Refrain from labelling your child as "smart" or "talented" in a fixed way. Instead, focus on their hard work and dedication as the factors leading to their achievements.
D. Setting Realistic and Achievable Goals:
1. Involve Your Child:
Engage your child in setting their goals and aspirations. Ensure they are age-appropriate, attainable, and aligned with their interests and abilities.
2. Break Goals Down:
Help your child break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate their progress as they accomplish each step.
3. Foster Perseverance:
Encourage your child to persist in pursuing their goals, even if they face challenges or setbacks along the way. Remind them that success often requires determination.
E. Encouraging Self-Care and Emotional Regulation:
1. Teach Stress Management:
Help your child identify healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions, such as deep breathing, physical activity, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy.
2. Promote Healthy Habits:
Encourage regular sleep, balanced nutrition, and physical activity to support their overall well-being.
3. Be Attentive to Their Needs:
Pay attention to signs of emotional distress and be responsive to your child's emotional needs. Offer comfort and support when they are struggling.
Boosting Self-Esteem in Specific Contexts
A. Building confidence in school settings
Let's now understand how a child can boost his self esteem in his school days.
1. Promoting a positive and inclusive classroom culture
Building confidence is the key in our childhood and skills like empathy, confidence and self esteem are taught in the school itself.
Therefore it's teachers duty to create an environment that is positive and enables students to bring out their creativity.
Teachers are supposed to create an environment of happiness and enjoyments where children can share their views and opinions.
2. Encouraging participation in class discussions and activities
The second way to boost child confidence is encouraging your child to participate in class discussion and activities.
So when I was in my school days, my parents used to tell me to engage in different group discussions and participate in anchoring programs.
In the initial days my legs were shivering when I stood up for the first time in front of 1000s of people but slowly when I became experienced then I mastered the communication skills.
With God Grace I have participated in almost every stage of programs that take place in my school. I was the leading anchor in our school fest and I have also given lectures to my junior class students.
That was all because of encouragement that I got from my teachers and parents. The same thing you can do with your children. Allowing them to participate in different programs or activities will boost your children's self esteem and confidence.
3. Collaborating with teachers and school staff
Last but not least, to boost your child's confidence and to learn life lessons, it's important to collaborate with teachers and school staff.
As it is one of the best ways to boost your child's confidence and make them learn something new.
B. Boosting self-confidence in sports and extracurricular activities
1. Embrace Healthy Competition:
Encouraging a healthy attitude towards competition means teaching children that participating in sports and extracurricular activities is not solely about winning or being the best. Instead, it's about giving their best effort, learning from the experience, and enjoying the process.
I still remember a moment from my childhood days where I had participated in a race and as soon as the race started I just ran but since my shoe was a little bigger in size so during the race it went off from my leg and I lost the race.
That was a great experience for me and I learnt that sports are not always about winning, sometimes it's about enjoyments, mind strategies to defeat your opponents and a lot more.
Emphasise the value of sportsmanship, fairness, and respect for opponents. Help them understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and the goal is to challenge themselves and grow, regardless of the outcome.
2. Value Effort and Improvement:
Instead of solely focusing on winning, praise children for the effort they put into their activities. Acknowledge their hard work, commitment, and dedication.
By shifting the focus to their effort and improvement, children will feel more motivated to continue trying, even if they face setbacks or don't achieve immediate success.
Celebrate their progress and improvements, no matter how small, as each step forward contributes to their growth and self-confidence.
3. Foster Skill-Building and Enjoyment:
Provide opportunities for children to develop their skills in various sports and extracurricular activities. Allow them to explore different interests to find what they enjoy the most.
Encourage them to practise regularly and set achievable goals to enhance their abilities.
Emphasise the joy of participating in the activities and the learning process. When children find enjoyment in what they do, they are more likely to stay motivated, have a positive outlook, and build self-confidence.
Frequently asked questions
1. What is self-esteem for kids?
Self-esteem for kids refers to their overall perception of themselves and their worth. It involves how they feel about their abilities, appearance, and value as individuals.
2. What causes high self-esteem in children?
High self-esteem in children can be influenced by positive experiences, consistent encouragement from caregivers and teachers, recognition of their achievements, and a supportive environment.
3. How to boost self-esteem?
Boosting self-esteem in children can be achieved by providing positive reinforcement, celebrating their accomplishments, setting realistic goals, encouraging a growth mindset, and offering emotional support.
4. Why is self-esteem important?
Self-esteem is crucial for a child's emotional and social development. It helps them build resilience, cope with challenges, form positive relationships, and develop a healthy sense of self-worth.
5. What is a simple example of self-esteem?
A simple example of self-esteem is a child feeling proud and happy after successfully completing a puzzle, knowing they accomplished a task they set out to do.
6. Why is self-esteem important in education ?
Self-esteem plays a significant role in a child's educational journey. When students have positive self-esteem, they are more motivated to learn, take on challenges, and achieve academic success.
7. Why do kids lack self-confidence?
Kids may lack self-confidence due to various factors, such as negative experiences, criticism, unrealistic expectations, comparisons with others, and a lack of support and encouragement from adults.
8. What are the sources of self-esteem?
Self-esteem can be influenced by internal factors like self-perception and achievements, as well as external factors like social interactions, feedback from others, and the support of family and friends.
9. What are the 7 steps to improve your self-esteem?
Steps to improve self-esteem include challenging negative thoughts, setting realistic goals, practising self-compassion, seeking support, nurturing talents and interests, taking care of physical health, and celebrating achievements.
10. What is the concept of self-esteem?
The concept of self-esteem refers to an individual's overall evaluation of themselves and their feelings of self-worth. It involves how they perceive their abilities, appearance, and value as a person.
11. What is self-esteem and types?
Self-esteem is an individual's overall perception of their worth. It can be categorised into two types: high self-esteem (positive perception) and low self-esteem (negative perception).
12. What are 4 characteristics of self-esteem?
Four characteristics of self-esteem are self-confidence, self-respect, self-acceptance, and self-compassion.
13. What are 7 factors that affect self-esteem negatively?
Factors that can negatively affect self-esteem include criticism, bullying, social comparison, traumatic experiences, a lack of support or encouragement, perfectionism, and unrealistic expectations.
Conclusion
So that was a complete guide on self esteem and how you can boost self esteem in children, I believe that till the end of this article we have discussed every possible queries that has poped up in your head.
Boosting Self esteem in children requires a lot of efforts that parents has to give. A good parenting, Nice environment and nurturing your children with positivity are some of the key steps through which parents can boost self esteem in children. So that's all for now:) See you in the next one. Do comment your feedback so that we can improve our future posts.
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